Growing up I saw my dad prioritise work over everything and I was told to do that as well. My mom’s routine surrounded my dad’s work and they both were constantly busy. This created an environment of neglect towards overall physical and mental health, personal time and time spent in social circles. I understand the need to work for survival but its not a crime to want to spend time with family or to spend time alone and look at how things are going in your own life.

There were times when I didn’t see my dad for months  and my mom would constantly be busy doing some work or another on his behalf for the extended family so it felt like nobody actually cared about listening to what I had to say. It may not seem like much but there are long term consequences to squandering away time on things that seem worth it but are not.

I have changed my perspective of how I approach work. I still spend the same amount of time working as my dad did but I spread it out throughout the day. I chose to have my own business for this very reason. I am not obligated to offer my time to anyone and I don’t answer to anyone. I can take the day off when I want and I can go where I want. I prioritise my health now more than ever and I use my personal time to introspect and correct the course of my life.

Its not easy to go against your very being and its not easy going against what society asks of you. Its certainly something people laugh at especially in my community. I honestly think I am better off because by the time I die I will be more fulfilled and have no regrets in life. I will be healthier and at peace.

I see people following structures that aren’t meant for them and then regret every minute of it. Being miserable is a choice and I am choosing not to be miserable. My future generations will be given a choice between surviving and thriving and if they see it fit they will make the right decisions based on their circumstances.

I have been constantly thinking about intelligence lately. I keep hearing this quote, its not exact but it is something along the lines of-

“Intelligence is expressed when one changes their opinion after they learn they are wrong. More importantly they admit to being wrong.”

In the past admitting to mistakes has cost me gravely and I understand why my parents did what they did. Its the safe thing to do. But the reality is that I am liberated from the constructs of society and I am free to do as I please even if I am treated as an outcast. I am not alone because people both outside and within that construct agree with me and are actively seeking my help to change.

My message is simple- correct as you go and break the cycles that don’t cater to you. You get one life, do what you want.